


How Sherlock Holmes Got The Girl

by immaplane



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Confident John Watson, F/M, Female John Watson, Flirty John Watson, He's just not into stupid people, No one can convince me Mycroft's not gay, None of the canon events are mentioned, Sherlock's not asexual, There is no actual sex scene, just the build-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8464798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immaplane/pseuds/immaplane
Summary: Or, how after daily exposure to a very attractive person with a high libido, Sherlock bowed to the inevitable and had sex with Joan.





	

Joan ‘Three Continents’ Watson was very comfortable with her body. Her ideas about sexuality were fairly liberal, to say the least. Throughout all her sexual escapades she had held true to one particular principle: ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’. So when her very attractive potential roommate had said he ‘considered himself married to his work’, Joan had, candidly and with a faint smirk, asked “Not even a casual shag?” A slightly shocked Sherlock had replied “Ah, no, although I am very flattered.” “Alright, fair enough, let me know if you ever change your mind. So, besides playing the violin and not talking for long periods of time, is there anything else I should know?” Before he could answer her question, he’d spotted a cab and had run out the door. “Running off without apparent reason, got it.” And Joan got up to follow him.

 

“You have a very high sex drive,” Sherlock said out of nowhere while they were waiting for the suspect to come out of his house. “Yes, I know.” After a few seconds of deliberating she asked: “How do you know?” “Well,” a grin stole over his face, “You’ve been masturbating multiple times a day, every day, for the last two weeks. Which is evident by the fact that you’ve kept the nails of your pointer and middle finger on your left hand shorter than the others and those same fingers are often wrinkled. Also, you’re not that quiet. And on Fridays, after going to the pub, you normally go home with someone, always different men. And last Friday, two men.” While saying this Sherlock hadn’t stopped looking at the house, but now he turned to Joan, who was wearing an amused look. “You were almost right.” “Almost?” Sherlock asked indignantly. “It was a man and a woman.” She smirked. Shaking his head, Sherlock muttered “There’s always something. There he is.” He’d spotted the suspect. 

 

Mycroft had just left their apartment. Sherlock took one look at Joan’s face and shuddered. “Don’t even think about it. I don’t want to think about it. As soon as this conversation is over I will delete ever having thought about it.” Wearing a faux-innocent look she said “What? I didn’t do anything.” “But you want to and that’s bad enough. Besides, you wouldn’t get anywhere. His interests lie elsewhere.” Sherlock could only hope this was the last time he had to think about his brother like that. “Damn, more’s the pity. Well, I can still fantasize. Excuse me for a little alone time.” And with a smug smile she went upstairs. “Deleted!” 

 

“It’s serious this time.” “Sorry, what?” Joan had been sitting at the kitchen table when Sherlock suddenly came up behind her. “The man you’re seeing, it’s serious. You’ve gone out with him five times already, and you were thinking about introducing him to me. Which, frankly, I don’t see the point of because he’s your partner and I will have absolutely nothing to do with him.” He refrained from saying that it would end within a week because the man, Oliver, was obviously fairly jealous and would not be able to deal with his girlfriend having a male roommate. “Of course you will, Sherlock, you’re my best friend aren’t you?” Joan smiled. Sherlock was right, a week later Joan was once again single.

 

“Joan.” She looked up from her newspaper. “Yes?” He wasn’t looking at her, instead he was staring intently at something on the street. “I changed my mind.”

**Author's Note:**

> I could have written more, but I felt like this was a nice place to end it. (Also I'm very lazy)


End file.
